Dr Ruairi Hanley
Back in 2007, I had the honour of being interviewed for Hot Press magazine. In all of my 32 years, I believe this is the closest I have ever come to being ‘cool’.
The actual text of my comments was communicated to the journalist by email, while the photo-shoot took place in Scholars Hotel in Drogheda, a favourite haunt of mine.
On the advice of my then girlfriend (now wife), I dispensed with the shirt and tie and tried to manage the ‘young fogey’ image, with a red jumper under a corduroy jacket.
A complete muppet
Unfortunately, the camera has never been my friend and the outcome made me look like a complete muppet. The actual interview went better, as I got to use colourful language to describe what I thought of HSE administrators, politicians and other assorted morons. I also decided to call for the abolition of VAT on condoms, figuring that such a policy would go down well with the ‘sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll’ readership.
When I walked into the newsagent a week later to buy my first-ever copy of Hot Press I was shocked to discover that I was described in the introduction as “relatively young”. The implication was clear – youth was fading and I would soon be middle aged. I immediately blamed the photographer.
A long time has passed since my brief encounter with the world of popular music magazines, and now I am getting worried. On my last two visits to the barber, I have been asked if I wanted my eyebrows trimmed.
The first occasion that this happened led me to conclude that the hairdresser had been drinking. The second episode convinced me there was indeed an issue, but I declined the service nonetheless.
I realised then that I have never actually looked at my eyebrows before. My wife informs me that increasing hair in this region is a sign of advancing age in men, similar to prostate enlargement (which, thankfully, I have yet to experience). I have decided the best approach is to ignore the area above my eyes and to find a new barber.
Unfortunately, other signs of ageing are starting to emerge. I have grown increasingly intolerant of those teenagers who seem to spend most of the summer hanging around town doing nothing. As far as I am concerned, the generation below me are a bunch of spoiled pups, who grew up with mobile phones and wallets bursting with cash. It is truly depressing to think that the future productivity of this country is dependent on them.
For those who feel this analysis may be a little harsh, I invite you to consider an annoying television advertisement for mobile phones that seems to be broadcast continuously these days. This commercial features a group of young people attending a noisy house party, where they show each other mobile-phone pictures and send stupid text messages to their absent friends. Eventually, this ‘cool’ gang of brain-dead delinquents decide they need to be fed, so they cleverly text ‘pizza’ in order to arrange delivery. Presumably, this convenient feeding binge is, like their phone bills, being paid for by their unseen parents.
Whenever I see this house party on my screen, I know that my blood pressure rises dramatically. I informed my wife recently that I have never seen a group of teenagers more in need of a traditional Christian Brothers’ education than the bunch of smug little twerps that star in this advertisement. Alas, such intolerance probably confirms beyond doubt that my youth may be lost forever. Ah well – it was good while it lasted.
U-turn on children’s hospital
The Irish Times’ letters page has been livened up recently by a heated debate on the location of the new national children’s hospital in Dublin. The correspondence was inspired by an article from Mr Maurice Neligan, in which he renounced his previous support for locating the facility on the Mater site.
What followed was depressingly predictable. A host of Crumlin-based consultants sent in letters calling for the site to be changed, possibly to a location similar to the hospital where they all work. Meanwhile, Mater supporters such as Prof Denis Gill leapt to the defence of the project and dismissed calls for a re-think. None of this inspires confidence.
It seems that the main declared objection my senior colleagues have to the north-inner city is one of space. Much of their criticism has apparently centred around logistical issues such as parking, public transport and ‘access’ for patients.
I was unaware that so many doctors had acquired such a high level of expertise in the fields of civil engineering, architecture and infrastructure. I must have missed those lectures when I was attending college, or perhaps they were only given to those lucky chaps who qualified 20 years before me.
I admit I am being facetious here. However, the truth is that medical professionals are simply not qualified to offer expert opinions on transport, communications and construction. Other people are and they supported the Mater site.
‘Unsuitable’
I also suspect that successful international paediatric hospitals do indeed exist in densely populated urban centres throughout the developed world. A visit to London, New York or Tokyo would probably confirm this fact. So why in Ireland is a city-centre location deemed permanently ‘unsuitable’ by so many eminent paediatricians?
If those doctors opposed to this project have genuine clinical or medical safety grounds for opposing the Mater, they should air them – after all, that is their area of expertise. Likewise, if they believe there would be insufficient bed capacity in the new facility, they should point that out too.
But if their objections are confined to an apparent prejudice in favour of their own hospital, backed up by a loudly articulated but fundamentally inexpert knowledge of urban planning, then I am afraid they should be ignored.
Ireland needs a national children’s hospital. Let’s get on with it.
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