Berna Cox sings the praises of her long-awaited mobile broadband connection after spending years wandering around lost in the technology wilderness.
For the last couple of weeks, there’s been a little smile playing around the corners of my mouth at all times. Sometimes, it even spills over into a broad grin accompanied by a whoop or a chuckle.
When I waken in the mornings, I remember the cause of all this smiling and whooping – and I start to smile and whoop all over again. Something has happened that has changed my life. It mightn’t mean much to other people but, for me, it’s salvation. After years of frustration and torture, I have broadband. Wonderful, gorgeous, beautiful, mobile broadband.
A little black box plugged into the side of my laptop has changed my life. I have no idea what the basis of the technology is and I couldn’t care less. It’s working.
I can send and receive my emails at the speed of light and I can surf the net without waiting a million years for a page to load. I am in thrall. I can’t believe my luck. Since I moved to my present abode in reasonably rural Laois about five years ago, I have been trying to get broadband of some description. I didn’t think it would be any big deal.
Whereas I enjoy a rural, tranquil location, I’m only 2.5 miles from the motorway and about seven miles from Portlaoise. Nice and quiet and rustic but not exactly the boonies. But, when it came to broadband, it might as well have been another planet.
h4. Drive you to drink
I was forced to struggle with dial-up which, I swear, is enough to drive a body to drink. The quality of my landline is so poor that I can hear RTÉ Radio One on the phone if it’s raining.
There was a time when I used to communicate regularly with Eircom about it all but I gave up. It only sent my blood pressure soaring. Every so often, I’d visit the website, punch in my landline number and invariably, I’d get the same old, same old…not suitable for broadband.
Then, a year or so ago, the mobile phone providers started advertising mobile broadband. I got a little bit excited and started daydreaming about how wonderful it would be.
I went to a mobile phone shop and had a look at the various deals from the various providers. I looked at the coverage maps and decided that the 3 Network looked as if it operated in our area.
I decided to give it a go. I gave them everything they wanted – bank statements, utility bills, photo ID and all that palaver. They told me to take myself off for a coffee while they sorted out my registration and when I came back, they looked for a €50 deposit. That had never been mentioned before and I was annoyed.
They couldn’t really explain to me why they suddenly wanted it. I must look shifty. But I paid it and dared to hope that my broadband problem was solved.
It wasn’t. It just didn’t perform. If possible, it was worse than dial-up. There was a two-week period for opting out so I opted out – but it took me three months and many phone calls to get my €50 back.
h4. A dummy run
I tried Vodafone as well but at least I didn’t have to go through the pain of buying in and opting out with them. Instead, I hijacked my brother-in-law, who has a Vodafone modem, and dragged him to my rural Laois abode to see how it performed. It didn’t.
Then, the other half announced one day that he’d been looking at the O2 coverage map and our area seemed to be reasonably well-covered.
When we were shopping for mobile broadband last year, the man in the shop said our area wasn’t covered by O2 but we should keep checking it because they were upgrading the network constantly.
The most recent map seemed to include us in its mid-range coverage. Definitely worth a try, we reckoned, but I certainly didn’t get excited. I let himself do all the signing up and organising – I wasn’t prepared to go through all the hassle of opting out again. But there’s no opting out involved.
The little black O2 mobile modem is working a treat. My emails are zipping in and out in the blink of an eye and surfing the net is just a joy. I type in a web address and, hey presto, it’s there.
Instantly. Well – almost instantly. None of this waiting forever for the page to load and then the line most probably dropping the connection. The little O2 blue light blinks and winks at me and whizzes me around the internet. I just love it. Sometimes, it slows up a little but it’s still a zillion times faster than dial-up.
And I’m having a ball with Youtube. I tried to access Youtube on dial-up at one stage and it was impossible. Now, I’m happily reliving the ‘70s downloading ELO, Sparks, Bowie, Cream et al.
h4. Dudley Moore
I’ve also found a great video of Dudley Moore playing the theme of the Bridge Over the River Kwai in the style of a Beethoven sonata and a wonderful version of Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus by the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir.
I stick in the speakers, crank up the volume and sing along. When they get to the bit about ‘blessing and honour, glory and power be unto Him that sitteth upon the throne’, I wink back at the little flashing blue O2 light and I sing even louder.
About Mary Anne Kenny
Loading ...
