A recent survey published by Bord Bia stated yet another fact that we shouldn’t really be alarmed by, relating to food and eating habits in our new, ‘shocked-into-the-future’ Ireland.
In urban areas of Ireland, not specified but I’m sure we can do the sums, a large percentage of families sit down to two separate meals most evenings of the week.
This should come as no surprise to many of us living the dream of modern Ireland where at least one-half of many married couples spend as many as four hours in a daily commute.
h4. All have eaten
If mum is at home (or vice verse of course) and dad leaves the house at 7am to arrive back at the same pm then of course by then mum and the kids will have had their breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Most small kids need to hit the hay by 8pm so it just doesn’t make sense to have them eating so late. If both parents are working outside the home then the situation remains much the same.
Ravenous ankle biters are collected by 6pm, often having eaten their lunch as early as 11.30am. By the time you get them in the door you will throw anything at them just to satiate them and give yourself five minutes to get out of your work clothes and to wash the day off your face.
h4. Two little boys
I remember this scenario myself as I prepared beef stroganoff the day before I started full-time-employment while being a mum of two tiny boys (a bad and distant memory).
I was a keen cook then and it was probably staying at home with small kids that unearthed my culinary enthusiasm. My then-mother-in-law kindly pointed out that there would be no more beef stroganoff for dinner in our house, with the kids at the crèche and the two of us working in town.
I sneered at her, (something any daughter-in-law must learn from an early stage) defending my culinary intentions and clearly stating that there would be no second meals, or junk food in our house. One week later, and a freezer full of potato waffles and fish fingers I threw whatever I could legally label a “meal” into the little blighters who had spent their days fighting for whatever tiny portions of junk food the crèche were giving them. I found two things happening here.
Firstly, all our good eating of corn-on-the-cob and spinach was jumping out the window as the kids developed a natural leaning towards the salty, processed foods that was put in their crèche bowls. Broccoli was no longer an interesting little tree, corn was yucky and it was chips and bangers all the way. While I was distraught at this, I was also devoid of the time or energy to shop for the good stuff, let alone make it on time before my own children ate me because of their own intense hunger.
Their dad and I often got home at the same time, fed the kids and then prepared something a bit more adult for us to have when they went to sleep. By adult I mean spaghetti with garlic and olive oil and two bottles of red wine which would be imbibed before passing out and replaying the whole scenario the following day.
h4. Less chaotic
In less chaotic families with the best intentions this scenario is being played out on a daily basis. One friend, a teacher, gets home with the kids by 4pm most days and gives them a snack of a sandwich or soup then she makes dinner which they do their best to sit down to eat together around 6.30pm.
This is made possible only by the fact that her husband recently changed jobs and now only has to spend 40 minutes driving the five miles to and from work. Another friend, a stay-at-home-mum, feeds the kids a pretty standard meat and veg dinner at 5pm and she and her husband then eat together after 8pm. That’s an admirable workload to undertake everyday. Instead of making five evening meals in a working week, this family is shopping for, and cooking, ten.
That’s twice the amount of groceries to buy, twice the number of dinners to come up with and twice the amount to cook. Shall I go on? The washing up probably won’t be done until 10pm, while drinking the second of those two bottles of wine.
While we pride ourselves in being the farmer’s market generation and trying all manner of artisan and international dishes, most of our children are digesting convenience junk we wouldn’t even look at ourselves. While our palates are refined and well developed, our kids don’t know their chicken from their Cheerios.
h4. New phenomenon
That’s just one side of this new phenomenon. What about the family-that-eats-together-stays-together idea? Yes, it’s an old-fashioned concept and something we would all love to be able to subscribe to. It’s also a sore subject for many.
I know this because when I brought it up recently with a male friend and father-of-two-in-crèche he became quite incensed. As we enjoyed our very fancy Thai meal (while the kids were probably getting a bird’s portion of spaghetti hoops and chicken nuggets) I proffered my worries about the families of Ireland not eating together any more.
He, getting quite huffy, took this observation of mine quite personally and claimed that they always try and eat nice meals together at weekends when they do some “serious” cooking. He then lamented that the kids don’t always want to eat his wife’s excellent duck confit that she has spent hours making. Of course they don’t- they live off e-numbers and hydrogenated vegetable fats all week.
While it’s true that some crèches do their best to provide real food and even print out menus on fancy headed notepaper, (that’ll be added into your huge crèche fees) your sprogs will be eating bland grub most days in a crèche.
h4. Start to talk
It’s true that at the dinner table we may just sit there, exhausted, eating our food, whatever it is, but when the family is together they do talk, or at least relax. It’s usually after the initial hunger has been satiated that my boys start to tell me about their day, that little Jimmy stood on my son’s foot, or that his teacher is evil or that he did the best or the worst in his spelling test.
By the time the bellies are full everyone relaxes a bit and there might even be a few laughs. It’s all very well for me preaching from the pulpit on this subject.
h4. Crèche years
I found the crèche years hell and as soon as the boys started school I began to work more odd hours, many evenings and Saturday mornings found me at lots of medical conferences in and around Dublin.
This set up meant we almost always ate together, dinner was sometimes at 5pm but mostly it was eaten as a family, and at the table. Once in a while the kids would beg me to have a TV dinner.
This wouldn’t be junk food in front of the TV, just our regular dinners brought in on trays. As long as I got to watch The Pink Panther Strikes Again with it, I would agree. So what is the solution to this situation?
h4. Finish earlier
Can we campaign to finish work earlier for the sake of our health and our families? Should we stay up late making shepherd’s pie the night before to cook the next day?
Suggestions on an e-mail please. Mail me at voconnor@ireland.com. Website: www.valskitchen.com
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