Write a medical-themed parody of a well-known song, win $500

From the Laryngospasms:
Do you have an idea for a medical parody? It could be worth $500 if it is selected for use by the Spasms! The author of a song chosen for use will receive $500, free signed copies of all of our albums, and full credit for the song if it is recorded. Who knows? It could be performed on America’s Got Talent this summer! Here are some guidelines we use when writing a parody:

Strive to evoke a humorous image with the words you choose;
The subject should be humorous even without the music;
The subject should have broad appeal and not be confined to enjoyment by a narrow segment of the audience;
Popular, well-known songs seem to work best.