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July 1, 2016

Ozzy Osbourne’s DNA – a mumbly code

Discoveries of Ozzy Osbourne’s complete DNA have found a sequence of mumbly codes that are almost completely congested and unreadable, Viscera has learnt.
Recent studies detected that the former heavy metal singer had subliminal genes that must be unraveled backwards.
An American company uniquely distinguished a gene responsible for making Jack Daniel’s unattractive and unpleasing in any amount less than a fifth.
The former reality star was found to have an uncommon brain that possessed not just opiate receptors but also powerful transmitters too.

His DNA sequence shares a close genetic link with no other living creature and possess enough musical ability to get very lucky.
The Osbourne genetic make-up devises an increased probability of creating, developing, and headlining Ozzfest.
Ozzy’s DNA contained a ‘Sharon Marker’ making the rock singer predisposed to shuffle about shouting ‘Sharon!’
Considering the subject is married to a person of this name is a statistically improbable coincidence, according to The Onion, a satirical American news organisation.